The economy has hit me like a massive tornado; turning my life upside down. There are days I"m afraid, depressed and emotionally exhausted from worry but in those darkest times there's a slight glimmer of hope. I know this hope only comes from the creator of all living things. In the very moment I feel like Terah and just pitching my tent and staying right in this very place; I hear a faint whisper 'Hold on", "Don't give up".
Sometimes God speaks to us through past sermons, songs and kind words from others. Do you ever wonder why just out of the clear blue you start humming a song you might not have heard for a while but it gives you comfort or inspiration? I believe that's God. God hears our cries not just the ones we speak out loud but the quite, faint cries that only our father can hear. The cries that no one on the outside looking in has a clue about. He hears our heart, soul and spirit. Today, God placed this song on my heart~~
There's one thing to have extremely high expectations that no one can meet and having no expectations!
1. If the man is unemployed
I know because of the economy there are exceptions to this rule; does the person have true potential? Did they get laid off and are actively seeking employment? Are they enrolled in school? If so then cut him some slack. If he's just coasting through life, constantly complaining about being unemployed but sending out maybe two or three resumes a week give it up! In this economy; there is no way a serious minded person seeking employment will only send out two or three resumes. What are they doing with the rest of their time? Speaking of potential, there is one thing when you believe they have potential and another thing when he believes he has it! You can be his cheerleader, his support when he's down but you can not be his mother! Too many times as women we mix our roles and end up mothering a man and that is a big, big, no no! A man needs to be a man and if your dating someone who is making very little effort, then this is a character flaw and he'll just be holding you back from your true, God given potential!
2. Children with various mothers.
I can understand one or two different mothers; but four, five etc. that's just asking for trouble. A man who has children with a lot of different women is a careless man who really has proven he has no self control. Leave him alone! He goes where ever the wind blows!
3. A man who lives with his mother.
Again, I'll actually cut slack depending on the situation. Did he recently relocate back to his home town for a job and is staying there temporarily? Did he lose his job because of the economy and held on to his place until he couldn't make it any more? I would say he may have potential but if he's content with living with mommy and he's over the age of 30 then leave him alone. If he doesn't desire his own space and is only willing to move in with you then he's not being a man. A man should desire his OWN space whether a woman is there or not!
4. Family/Friends you truly trust are concerned
Seriously, if the people in your life you trust the most think your settling then you likely are. Sometimes we just have to listen to other peoples advice. I was once told, "God don't bless no mess!!" This is very true! If your having doubts its there for a reason. God won't bless your relationship when he has someone better out there for you. Do you want second, third or more than likely 100th best or the very best God has for you?
5. ALL his friends are single
It's one thing to have a friend or two that's single but if all his friends are that shows a real lack of maturity especially if their over 35! Seriously, a marriage minded man should have married friends or marriage minded friends. If their single still wanting to hang out at the club every weekend; that's a red flag!
6. His values don't align with yours
I think to have a successful relationship you should have similar values. For example, you both want to be financially stable and are working towards that goal.
As women we spend way too much time, energy and tears on men who we know in our hearts are not right for us. Sometimes we're afraid of being alone, not wanting to be the only one without a significant other or worried that he is the last guy we'll ever meet. Being in a relationship because your scared is no relationship at all. Just like you met him you'll meet someone else.
For all the single mothers, lets show our children we don't have to be with a man who is unworthy of our love. Our children need to see confident, secure mothers who know their self worth, who refuse to settle for anything less.
I'm truly heartbroken over the dire circumstances many Americans are facing. Yesterday, the USPS announced they would be closing 3,200 plus offices, Blackberry announced they were laying off 2000 employees. I could go on and on but when do Americans begin to wake up and realize that the lack of manufacturing in America has contributed to the erosion of the American economy. We must have industries creating new things. Creating new technology, environmental products etc. I don't blame the CEO's; their only doing what the board of Directors want. Save money and make it on the backs of the poor and disenfranchised. Wake up people! Realize that this isn't a democrat thing or a Republican thing this is a financial thing and green wins over red and blue any day!
That's all I hear right now....I've been having major roofing damage and have had roofers repairing this travesty of a problem all week. Today I was sitting in the kitchen and heard a loud crash>>>>(Yeeks!!!) my ceiling caved in. I'm not very happy but I know all things will eventually work out or at least that's what I keep telling myself. I wonder how long will I have to keep saying the same thing? Things have away of working out......I guess I've been questioning my faith like so many others during these tough times. I know I'm not alone but when your going through things it often feels like it. I feel as if life is passing me by. I'm in a wind tunnel of life; others are whipping by me full speed, woosh...someone is getting married woosh...someone has gotten a new job...woosh...someone else has relocated.....woosh...someone is having a new baby...Get my point? I feel like I am being left behind in the great cycle of life...I guess I'm a little blue...
I'm now living in hormone central! My son, whom I love with all my heart has turned from a once happy go lucky, let's just play video games kid into girls, girls, girls gone wild teen! This change happened literally the minute he walked into the front doors of his middle school and started seventh grade! I yearn for the days of compromise, no emotional break downs over being embarrassed by well....everything, free from Facebook obsession, text messaging, brand name clothes and shoes and freaking out because of a zit. My head is literally spinning!
Where is the little boy who used to love to wear cowboy hats because he wanted to look just like his best friend Woody from Toy Story; the little boy who once said "Mommy will you marry me?"
I know those days are long gone but I still cherish them. I've learned that you have to live in the here and now. No matter how many pictures or videos you have it will never bring back the touch, the smell, the laughter of that moment. Be present, be thankful and realize that no matter how frustrating it is and believe me I know....it's still a blessing from God. The good, the bad, the ugly, the hormonal teen who you just want to make stay in their room until their hormones have leveled off are all a blessing.....until tomorrow~
Besides sharing my life on this blog; I'm going to discuss current events, social issues and from time to time just sheer gossip. In the last year, I've become a horrible insomniac, which opens the door to late nite munching, watching bad tv, playing games on my phone (gin rummy is my current favorite) or reading The Southern Vampire Series. This morning I woke up around 5 am and while channel surfing I came across the old series "Boston Legal". It's funny how you never notice a show until its been placed in syndication. I missed the majority of the episode but caught Candice Bergen reading the poem "First they came...." by Pastor Martin Niemoller. Every time I hear this poem being read, it stops me in my tracks. I thought I would enter this as my second entry on my blog..
First they came for the communists,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a trade unionist.
Then they came for the Jews,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a Jew.
Then they came for me
and there was no one left to speak out for me..
I decided to blog about my life because some things are just to bizarre, funny and sometimes heartbreaking to keep to myself. I thought this could be a place where I could express my thoughts on being a single mom while trying to juggle education, seeking full-time employment and the ups and downs of dating in the days of texting instead of calling, blogging instead of writing letters and where you'll have a better chance of meeting your soul mate sitting behind a computer then walking down the street.